To be a 'grownup'

What exactly does it mean to be a grown up?
When I was young I always thought to be a grownup meant I could do whatever I wanted but being a grownup I have realized that its the exact opposite. So if not that what does it mean then? Well I don't 'feel' grown up! I still like the same things I did when I was 14 I just don't have the time anymore to pursue them as vigorously as I could then. So is this what it means to be grown up? To shoulder your responsibilities and put anything you really want to do on the Back burner? If so that really sucks!!! Well i guess this is part of life though, when you where little you were looked after, learning the skills of survival from your parents, when your grown up you will have to fight for survival yourself!
But is that all that its about? I hope not. Surely adulthood should be about fulfilling your dreams, shouldn't it? But our dreams change while we are growing up don't they? Why is that? Is it because we keep learning new things that we incorporate into our dream? Surely yes! And maybe as well because we adjust our dreams to expectations others have for us. Yes this is true as well. If a child is told in school he/she will never be a high achiever surely her dreams scale down over time as well as he/she believes what told! And maybe as well because we loose the magic and imagination of childhood, get disillusioned with the world and find out that actually having a house on the moon is really something that will not happen!!!
But isn't that really sad? That for a modern society with all its comforts and securities we can't keep the magic alive? That still after all this time after bragging about how civilised we are we really are no differend from a mouse fighting for survival in the forest? Because thats what it really comes down to isn't it? For us in the west here its not really actual survival (not the starving type anyway) but survival in the concreat jungles of our society. How sad is that?
Me for one I refuse to let go of the magic!!! Yes I'm propably what you would call childish and quirky and yes I'll never be a high flyer. But you know what? I rather have imagination and see into the world of my children than sit in a big house, with a big car and a boat and have no connection to their world anymore because I am so engrossed in how to make more money!
So I guess in the end I really can't answer the question of what it means to be grownup to any ones satisfaction because I don't think I have ever really grown up. But maybe, just maybe I am not alone in all this. Maybe this is how most people feel? Maybe thats whats growing up is all about? To find a way to keep your childhood dreams, imagination and magic alive in the concreat jungles of the modern world. In a way I am hoping so!!
So did this all make sense? Was it well thought through? No I guess not because in the end this is just musings of a mummy ...